The ladies of Nagar Tata (and Jamshedpur)

Mail News Service

Jamshedpur, Aug 29:�For the old timers of the ’60s and new timers then, Bill Forbes alias Kal Kahn had rendered the then popular song, ‘The Ladies of Calcutta’� with rare gusto thus making even the Didibhais and their clones across the country blush in appreciation. Old boy Bill spelt out the traits of the ladies then as dignified halves of their more dignified menfolk. These ladies loved to chat over the phone or across the coffee table or wherever. One of them of course, had to be gossip. But there was a certain dignity about it. God bless Billy and his song lyricist for an ode to women not necessarily of Calcutta alone. And yes, he sang it in�Indian Ishtyle Angrezi.�That is why the song stuck to the list of that period’s chartbuster for quite some time and was even played in Durga Puja Mandaps in Calcutta mostly and elsewhere too. But then, those were the days of good spirit (no pun intended), bonhomie when ladies did not feel being ridiculed. But this observation does not mean that the ladies or whatever of today are being demeaned. Far from it. In fact, very few have the guts or tenacity to do so. In case of seasoned rapists who are least bothered about what the ladies feel and more concerned about how they themselves feel, the character or otherwise trait may be different.

But ever since the introduction of the necessary evils called cell phones which are now called smart phones with something called Android in them, the world has shrinked to less than palm size. The point of consternation is that the ladies of Nagar Tata (officially read Tatanagar) and Jamshedpur spend three quarters of their waking hours in talking, giggling, cooing, smirking, making kiss like sounds or scolding ( especially if the person on the other end of the line happens to be one of the special breed of unfortunate husbands) or the son or daughter spending the same amount of time on their ‘smarties’ over everything else than studies. Well, the remaining measly one quarter is reserved for sleep or other unnecessary functions.

The moot point, however, is that these ladies of wherever including Tatanagar and Jamshedpur, are usually so engrossed in their cellular activities that they have been spotted walking right through busy traffic oblivious to all around honks and curses of flabbergasted traffic cops and red eyed motorists who let them cross unconcerned to the other side of the road. Some have not been as fortunate and have landed up in hospitals, nursing homes or morgues (Satan bless this blasphemer’s already corrupt soul).

The ladies of Nagar Tata are also adept in cradling their long Androids (these contraptions are growing longer to accommodate more features) between their head and shoulder while driving two wheelers with or without pillion riders. Wonder if such descendents of Mama Eve ever suffer from pains in the neck (pun is accidental). 

The same features of mobile usage in other forms of mobility including autorickshaws, buses, rickshaws and cars are in vogue nonchalantly, unrestricted and unrestrained. ‘Give it a break, yaar,’ but then who will bell the feline is the question that even Putin is trying to figure out. Why Putin? Well, it could be Trump, Ping, Pong or other equally harassed husbands or their lookalikes.

Apart from these ‘Ohmen’ or women, there is a genre of young men who exhibit the same traits as those of their incorrigible counterparts. The few differences that do exist are physiologically negligible. Speed on their two wheeler killer machines is not at all a matter of concern. They chat with tilted shoulders and slanted heads dangling their lives, their parents’ fate and the safety of other road users at the end of the Satanic Rod. Why guys, why? 

Corona care, corona vaccines, corona deaths are now parts of mankind’s routine lives. And so are these cellular viruses in the approximate ratio of 90 (felines) to 10 (Toms). To keep the fudged mind better engaged, sing along, croak or hum:

‘The Ladies of Calcutta

The Ladies of Nagar Tata…’